


Suits and Ties, Castles and Crooks

by SargentStadanko



Category: Avengers (Comics), Marvel (Comics)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-19
Updated: 2013-03-20
Packaged: 2017-12-05 20:36:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/727666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SargentStadanko/pseuds/SargentStadanko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint agrees to take Wade as his +1, turns out they've got trouble in their future. <br/>-Not finished yet, still working on Chapter 3 (possibly last chapter)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Seriously, Wade- you've been briefed, just, don't stray from protocol and I won't have a reason to kill you when it's all over."

"Kill me, Birdy? Now that's just plain rude."

"Don't mock me," but the archer was smiling, turning his head away so the merc wouldn't catch it. Of course Wade did, it was hard to hide anything from Wade.

 

"You know you look real good in a suit, _Agent Barton."_

"Purr in my ear all you want, this is our first mission together, and if you compromise it, so help me I'll-"

_"You'll what?"_

 

Wade pressed them against the wall, stopping Clint from opening the front door, and the SHIELD agent felt his resolve breaking under that delicious gaze. It was harder to say no to the man than hide from him, that was for sure. They'd been "together" for months now, living in the same apartment without calling it a relationship, only letting their best friends in on the ruse because Clint had a reputation to keep and Wade was okay with that. The archer hadn't known himself to find men attractive, but when Wade leaned in towards him and Clint felt his breath catch as the man's hand slid down his stomach, he realized why he'd changed his mind.

 

Wade had dragged him to the bedroom after that, literally thrown the younger over his shoulder and dropped him onto their mattress so he could get him out of that suit and take him against the headboard. It was hot, quick and sweaty and Clint finished with his eyes closed, growling between clenched teeth as he came in Wade's hand. The merc did him a favor and came in his other hand, stating that "taking one for the team was nice, but that suit was on loan" as he walked to the washroom to clean up. It took Clint another fifteen minutes to straighten himself out after that, managing to make it to the door again before-

 

"God, Birdy, I can't help it. You, and that suit-"

"Wade, _we're going to be late_ -"

 

xx.

 

They were late.

Not that Clint minded. Sex with Wade was never a bad thing, and Sex twice with Wade was simply spectacular. Clint was thankful for the reprieve though, this mission was an important one for the both of them- not, that Fury knew his favorite Agent had allowed himself a plus one. This was about Frank Castle, a target the archer and the merc had in common. Being in a relationship with Wade had strengthened his decision: if they did pull this off, there was the potential to take on Castle together and reap the rewards from both of their employers; if Wade could help Clint bring in Castle, Clint was sure Fury would allow them to work together more often. The archer did enjoy his solo missions, but he'd been known to enjoy tag team missions more, especially if they were with someone he knew and trusted. The only problem was, when it came to matters of work and play, they were real good at one- and tended to fail miserably at the other. The first time they'd ever gone for the same hit they'd ended up nearly throwing each other off of the roof. Clint hoped that this time round it smoothed itself out.

It helped that they had fallen in love not so long ago. Clint had noticed it first, the way Wade's dialogue had changed- softened, more like it, only around him. The way the merc had invited him over so they could sleep together, which was something neither of them had wanted in the beginning. Too much intimacy, not enough privacy. That had all given way when they'd actually started caring, and now Clint was hard-pressed to remember a morning he hadn't woken in his lover's arms. The simple things they did for each other without realizing what they were doing; there was so much chemistry between them, and it followed wherever they went.

Clint was hoping it didn't show too much here. This was about professionalism, strict and tidy professionalism.

 

"Evening, gentlemen."

Clint nodded at the greeter, keeping himself a pace or two in front of Wade as they entered the grand hall. He surveyed every inch of delicate design in that place as soon as they stepped foot through the doors, eyes flitting from ceiling panel to pillar structure as he searched for escape routes and hidden rooms in the walls. It was quite beautiful, red and gold surrounded them without attacking the senses, hushed and diminished by chandeliers and dimmed lights. Guests wearing ball gowns and tuxedos strolled past them holding wine glasses, while servers hurried beneath their trays of caviar and pastries.

 

"The names Bond. James Bond."

Clint looked over as Wade introduced himself to a lady in blue, stifling an eye-roll and the urge to grab his man's arm and pull him off of her. This was not the time for joking around- every word they said could be used against them, every look in the wrong direction could be a liability to their undercover status. She was smiling at him like he was Tony fucking Stark, and Clint couldn't help but sidle up beside him, nodding his head at the woman.

"Right, and that would make me Vesper Lynd- I'm terribly sorry to have bothered you, we have reservations over here." Clint gave her a charming grin before turning it on Wade, who simply grinned back, narrowing his eyes slightly.

"I'll be there in a few, _Vesper._ Grab me some of the bubbly, will you?"

"Wade- _Jesus_ , James-"

"I prefer Bond-"

"Go fuck yourself, Bond."

 

Clint let out a small breath as he walked away from the two and headed for their assigned table.

" _Him_? No, he's my brother, brought him along, however, he hasn't turned out to be the wingman I'd have liked- your name was?"

 _He's already being an ass- James Bond, who the hell decides to even bring that up. If that isn't the most suspicious thing you could say to someone while undercover-_ Clint knew it was all about downplaying the obvious, but it sounded better than admitting Wade flirting with another woman made his skin prickle uncomfortably. _And that accent. I don't even bring him to the mansion that often, Jarvis can't be rubbing off on him like that._

The archer made his way to a long buffet table filled with wine bottles, wine glasses, and punch. He poured some champagne for the two of them, thinking about how unnaturally easy Wade made flirting seem. He just waltzed up to the first woman that caught his eye and dove for it, hitting every punchline with the same accuracy Clint hit his own targets. Clint wondered if the reason it suddenly seemed like such a big event was because Wade had done the same to him, and he sipped at the rim of his glass as he carried the two over to their table, setting them down before he pulled out his chair and settled into it. The other three were still empty, Wade's included, and Clint realized he didn't know who was going to be joining them. There were four plates, silver with green vines painted along the perimeters, bundles of polished white cutlery beside each one.

 

"Good evening."

Clint looked up at the woman's voice, fighting to keep his expression blank. He knew this woman. He'd seen her, read about her, and couldn't think of a better time to be meeting her. He was almost glad Wade wasn't with him in that moment, just in case he messed this up.

 

"Ladies. You may call me Vesper, if you wish."

 

_Are you fucking kidding me? THAT'S what you think up on the spot?_

"A pleasure, Vesper. My name is Milla, Milla Donovan, and this is Diana." Clint shook hands with each of them as he stood to greet them, taking a seat only when they did. Milla Donovan was Matt Murdock's wife, Daredevil, the very man who had the potential to know everything about Castle in his current situation. Clint ran his tongue over his lower lip thoughtfully as Diana introduced herself, some flimsy accountant from some firm he'd never heard of and cared nothing about- but pretended to as he smiled and nodded, telling her how very interesting it all was.

 

"Oh, and you must be our table guest. Vesper here told us nothing about you, of course."

" _Vesper_ , here?"

 

Clint hated the way Wade raised his eyebrow as he took his seat slowly, grin growing in the most predator-like fashion. The archer did his best not to look at the merc. Or smile, because that was trying to happen, too.

 

"Yes, Vesper here seems to have forgotten his manners. He did not, however, forget my champagne- thank you, brother dearest."

"Oh, brothers? Delightful!"

"Yes, the name's James, its a pleasure to meet you both."

"Oh no, the pleasure is all ours, isn't that right, Diana?"

 

Clint felt his smile growing more forced as he kept it up. Whatever Wade was playing at, however well it was working- it was annoying, and Clint swore if this high and mighty bullshit didn't stop before he got some food, he'd snap like the shaft of a tortured arrow. He knew the merc was just having fun at the ladies' expense, it wasn't like Clint cared about Milla and Diana past the objective of this mission. He tried to maintain that if Wade was happy, he was happy, but it was pretty damn hard when he wanted to melt his eyeballs in the centerpiece candles.

_This isn't a Bond novel, Wilson. Keep it together._

 

Clint had always wondered what it would be like to be invincible like Wade was. Would he take more risks? Would he travel more? What sorts of hobbies would he have? Would he steal cutlery from rich people like the merc did, and hide it in their closet as if Wade didn't know? Clint remembered the last knife and fork he'd found hadn't been half as nice as these ones. He doubted Wade would take from this place, there were too many eyes on them at all times, so much pretentious energy. He hadn't realized how long he'd been daydreaming until Milla threw her head back, laughing.

 

"I'm going to step out for a while, if that's all right."

"You sure? We just got here?"

" _You_ just got here." Clint pointed out to the merc. "I need some fresh air."

"One day you'll rid yourself of that habit, Lynd. Smoking." Wade told the ladies, dropping his attention from the archer. "Picked it up and never quite could put it down again."

 

Clint left him to spin his lies at the table, wondering what exactly he was getting out of all this. He made sure to lose himself in the crowd before he got back into his original psyche, blue eyes creeping from face to face in search of something familiar. He took a trip to the bathroom, wondering if he would strike red herring gold- unfortunately there was nothing but an old guy and two nicely dressed businessmen. Clint had been warned by Fury to stay out of the public eye as much as possible, couldn't risk having his face recognized in case there were any double crossers on duty that evening. The archer wandered the Hall until he found himself turning a corner, stopping when he heard the words "McRook's on the move" coming from beyond the pillar. He'd done too much research on Frank _not_ to recognize one of his nicknames.

 

"Aye, Big Nothin's apposed to show up in Brooklyn t'morrow."

"That's what you 'eard?"

"That's what I 'eard."

"Boss wants us to take him out right good."

 

_Get in line and take a number, bozo._

 

"Well, Eastman's got company it'd seem. I 'eard Wolverine's hopin' ta make an appearance alongside 'im."

"That's what you 'eard?"

"That's what I 'eard."

 

_Logan? What could Logan possibly want with Frank this time?_

 

"They're workin' together, see. Took out two of Boss' strongholds not four days ago. Got him pretty angry it did, haven't seen 'im so angry since we let those Fantastic Four thrash headquarters."

 

Clint stayed by the pillar, leaning against it when he realized anyone watching could easily spot him eavesdropping. Whoever was around the corner of the wall wasn't going anywhere, and Clint learned that not only were Logan and Frank supposed to show up a city away the next afternoon, but Logan had been working with him for nearly three months. Finally feeling like he'd heard enough and wondering at the accesibility of that conversation, he headed back towards the table, glad to see Wade sitting there by himself. The ladies had no doubt gone to pamper themselves in the ornate restrooms, and Clint took a seat beside his favorite merc, leaning towards him with a smile. Wade didn't reciprocate, watching him wearily.

 

"You okay, Birdy?"

 

Clint raised his eyebrow; Wade hadn't seemed worried about his welfare for the last hour, why all of a sudden?

"Birdy, Wils- do you not understand the meaning of undercover?"

Wade leaned forward at that point too, fixing Clint with narrowed eyes.

"Don't get your knickers in a knot, tough guy. While you were out jacking off in a corner I was gleaning useful information from Diana the flaming lesbian and Matt's wife." At a change in Clint's expression the merc nodded, smirking. "That's right, you thought I didn't know, didn't you? Well I did, and let me tell you, Frankie Villa's been busy. Milla jumped at a heartfelt story that Castle killed our baby sister and spilled the beans- by the way, _Vesper_ , Clint, really? C'mon, that's just adorable."

"Oh shut up and finish your damn story, Bond."

Wade's smile grew fonder at that, and so did Clint's.

 

"Frank's been living out of New York City for about three months now. Matt's chased him around town, kept him on his toes, made sure he knows he's not welcomed. They're friends one day and obsessions the next, as Milla put it, sounds like Daredevil's got his hands full keeping him out of his territory. Thing is, Milla thinks its all a distraction, she says Castle hardly stays in one place for three months unless he's courting disaster. She has no idea what his next scheme will be, but she knows Matt busted his weapons cache exactly four days ago and confiscated everything, handed it over to police, had Castle sobbing at his doorstep like the washed up merc he is."

Clint highly doubted Castle had shed even a drop of sweat, nevertheless a tear for Matt, but it did make sense that he would come looking for his ammunition. His head whirled as he put their stories together, finding it easier to think as he lost himself in the merc's chocolate eyes.

"So, here's what I think..."

Clint tugged at his tie, pushing it back into position on his chest.

 

"Frank's been working with Logan again-"

"My Logan?"

"Your Logan? You have a Logan?"

"Yes I have a Logan. He's furry and rides a motorcycle, answers to Fluffy when the mood suits him."

"Jesus, Wade, when was the last time you saw him?"

"Couple months ago."

 

Clint sniffed. So then it wasn't simply a rumor. Logan was working with the Punisher.

 

"Okay, in that case yes, your Logan."

"Fluffy."

"Fluff- what difference does it make?"

"Say it."

"Why?"

"Say Fluffy."

" _Fluffy_ , now can we-"

 

Clint swallowed thickly as Wade laughed, eyes sparkling mischeviously.

 

"It just sounds funnier when you say it."

"Can we please focus on this mission now?"

"Fill me in, Boss."

 

Clint kept himself from breaking out into a smile. This was serious business.

 

"Frank's been working with Logan-"

"Fluffy."

"-for three months now, on who knows what- lucky for us, we know where: here. Four days ago Matt found their base and destroyed it, causing Frank to take out two of unknown enemy's warehouses for personal gain. Tomorrow he is going to be in Brooklyn, although I don't know where exactly, and he's going to be armed."

 

Wade seemed to give that serious contemplation, eyes scanning around them once as if to make sure there were no prying ears.

"Whaddya say we go for a walk?"

Clint stood, prompting Wade to do the same.

"I noticed a group of girls earlier walking thatta way, one of them reminded me a little of an old friend's ex: some fruity little dancer from that joint I may or may not have shot up at some point in my life three years ago."

"So, three years ago?"

"Yeah, three years ago, but that's not important. What's important is that we find her."

Clint let Wade lead this time, taking to walking casually behind him, nodding and smiling at people as they passed, snagging a bagel with smoked salmon and cream cheese from one of the server trays. Eventually Wade came to a stop, and as Clint looked up he noticed green eyes worming their way into his soul, snatching up his breath as she dug deeper into his thoughts, pulling them from him with the ease of-

 

"Well, what fine young gentleman they recruited for this here, get together."

 

Clint didn't like the way she hissed the "s" on this, or the way her gaze was so piercing he thought he was trapped. Wade raised a hand, cutting off Clint's line of sight just long enough he could find his bearings, the merc scratching the side of his head as if he hadn't meant to do anything at all.

"Appreciated, ma'am. You look familiar, SHIELD, perhaps?"

Clint listened to Wade's voice, always amazed at the way he changed his persona to suit the situation. Now he was an innocent onlooker, no doubt they came across as mere entrepenuers, perhaps rookie Agents. This woman had a man on either side of her, both dark skinned and brawny. She looked poised from her seat, fragile, with an undertone of lethal power. Supervillain. She had the likes of a supervillain, and Clint guessed Wade knew which one.

 

"SHIELD, _yes._ I am high-ranking officer Tanya, this here is Gordon, the other, Burchell."

"Boys." Wade greeted with a slight nod of his head.

"Did you stop to ask my name, or was it the tempation that drew you in, dearest?"

 

_Dont flatter yourself, sweetheart._

Clint couldn't help but notice she was looking right at him. Delving, again, with those green orbs.

 

"No, my brother and I were actually on our way-"

The archer watched as the smaller of the two men lifted his gaze to the merc who'd spoken, his eyes red and utterly alien.

"I don't think she was talking to you."

 

"Now now, _Gor_ don." Clint utterly despised the way the woman rolled her letters, like a serpent, crawling its way beneath his skin.

"There is no need to lash out at this, simple man."

 

Clint snuck a glance at Wade- surprised to find him with a set jaw, brown eyes intent on their prey as they bore into her. He followed him to the woman's face, finding her irises nearly burning with venom as she glared back. Whoever these people were, Wade knew them, and it looked like they knew him. If Clint had it in his power to remain expressionless, he was pretty sure he was losing his touch: his eyebrows knit slightly when he found both of the men were trained on him, red gazes blazing like gems of fire. He felt like they were in a triangle of wits, each hoping to outdo the other as the seconds ticked by.

"We'll be taking our leave now." Wade began, but both of the men stood at once, baring their teeth. Clint couldn't help but find it surreal, like pack animals in the wild, rabid and rampant. The archer felt his pulse quicken at the thought that a full scale fight could break out under all of the false pretences of security, no doubt causing Fury to kick his ass for days and possibly take the damage control out of his next paycheck. He noted how her eyes flickered from the merc back to him every few seconds, as if she was deciding who the archer was to Wade. Wade stood still as a statue as her lackeys studied him, both a good two inches shorter as he stared them back down.

"Try anything, Mamba, and I swear on all nine inches I'll turn you and your society into a skin suit that I'll wear to every gay bar from here to Alberta."  
He paused, narrowing his eyes.  
" _Without_ washing you even once in between."

Clint gathered by the way she motioned for her henchmen to sit down that she got the message, and Clint felt a warm arm around his shoulder, leading him elsewhere. It wasn't until Wade had lost them in a different part of the crowd that he looked at Clint from the corner of his eye, leaving his embrace so he could face him.

 

"You ever see her around..."

 

Clint blinked down at him, wondering why his sentence had dropped off. Wade was giving him that serious look, the one that meant his brain was no doubt ruminating everything in three different perspectives. His expression kept changing too, slipping from amused to angry to solemn to something Clint couldn't classify. Finally he placed a hand on Wade's shoulder, daring a glance in the direction they'd just come from. Tanya was out of sight, but seemingly not out of mind.

"Old enemy?"

"Old enemy." Wade replied, and Clint dropped his hand, sighing.

"I'm a superhero, Wade, you don't need to worry. I've got the Avengers if I ever need them, all of SHIELD at the push of a button."

 

Clint couldn't help but notice that Wade looked away, as if to hide the truth that he knew would be written in his eyes.

"Would it help if I told you I think we found what we were _actually_ looking for?" Clint motioned with his chin a group of three girls sitting at a table, to which Wade pulled himself together and nodded, drawing up to his full height. The dancer he had been talking about was absolutely beautiful, as was her entourage, all three of them blonde, blue-eyed and busty. Clint couldn't help but smile as they approached, defying his eyes the scantily clad chests begging for his attention.

 

"Sorry boys, ze last seat is taken."

"Oh? Ms. Sweet Insanity? Front and center every Wednesday night at the Cherryridge Joint couple miles from here?"

The middle blonde, Sweet Insanity as Wade had called her, looked down at her pink manicure, long eyelashes casting shadows over her cheeks.

"Is my face really that familiar?"

 

_She sounds like a vampire- seriously, what's with all the accents tonight? Did I miss the memo, forget to bring my foreign identity with me or somethin'?_

 

"Depends. That scar looks new."

"None of your concern, my love."

"Might be, if it has anything to do with an old friend of mine. Poindexter ring any bells? Really good at being a douche, tends to hit people like a twelve year old when he's angry."

 

Suddenly she was laughing, cold and guarded.

 

"I have not seen him since I quit at ze club. Whatever quarrel you have with him, take your problems elsewhere."

Clint didn't miss the way her hand slid to her waist, or the glint in her eyes that couldn't have been simply a trick of the light. Poindexter could only mean Bullseye, and Clint had heard a lot about Wade's relationship with him. He cleared his throat nonchalantly, deciding to play the good cop.

 

"We've bothered the nice lady enough, c'mon Bond, we've got work to do."

"Right. Sorry to have bothered you then, _Insanity_."

Wade was leaning down, taking the hand that was offered to him so he could kiss it. Clint didn't miss the way he held her gaze, as if taunting her to figure out his disguise. They left the table then, deciding to return to their own across the Hall, a trip that settled to clear their minds and buy them time.

 

"Well that's a cold trail if I ever saw one."

Clint agreed, taking to scanning the throng of bejeweled guests again. "Bullseye has odd taste in women."

"And we don't?"

"I couldn't see myself dating her, no."

"But you could see her shimmying around a pole while those other two got down on their-"

"Jesus, Wade. Let's just, focus on this mission, please."

"You're lying if you say no."

"Focus, Wade."

"Don't tell me what to do, V. I call the shots around here."

"I'm thinking video cameras. Cold trail, we've got to find a vantage point. Help me figure out where the security room is."

"Door marked Staff Only, first left, down the hall to room 112: we distract the guards long enough to get inside and bang- security breach."

 

Clint stopped walking, features contorting.

 

"How did you know that?"

"I may or may not have had Weasel download a floor plan of the place while you slept like a baby."

 

Clint wanted to wipe the smug smile off Wade's face, if only to stop himself from staring at those lips longingly.

 

"And you couldn't tell me this before we arrived?"

"You never asked."

"But that's pretty freaking important! Nevermind, let's just get in there, figure this out, and make it seem like it never happened. I need my bow, I'll be right-"

"No, wait here, grab something to eat, I'll be back before you can say "Deadpool's the sexiest man in the entire Universe- scratch that, all the other universes while you're at it- even that one where Lady Deadpool might be sexier but actually isn't and-"

"Wade, shut up."

"Be right back, Birdy."

 

xx.

 

Clint returned to the table then, enlightening Diana and Milla with conversation of his "supposed" job as a New York policeman, which seemed fitting considering he knew so much about superheroes and the law. He was barely through his story of that time he'd nearly been killed by Mr. Sinister when Wade came back holding a silver briefcase, tapping Clint on the shoulder as he asked the ladies to excuse them. Clint stood up and followed, giving Milla a friendly nod on his way out.

"All right, now get us somewhere private and I'll suit up."

"Can do, coat room happens to be in the staff area, it's on the way."

 

Clint couldn't be happier that the Staff Only entrance was in a secluded hallway leading to the kitchens- which he could tell only because of the wonderful smell of food wafting down from the far side. Wade pushed through the door, chocolate gaze peering down either direction as Clint slipped in under his arm, surveying the room. Coat Closet was written in red letters on a piece of paper that had been taped to the open wood frame across from them, two closet bars on either side holding numerous fur and faux jackets, feeling like he was wading through thick undergrowth as the merc pushed him into the unlit space.

 

"Give me the case, we don't have much time."

Wade closed the door behind them, locking it with nimble fingers.

"Ah, Clint. Clueless as always."

"What-"

 

Before Clint could turn around, he felt metal slipping around one wrist and cinching tight, the merc pulling his hands together so he could finish the handcuff embrace and walk him forward, slamming him playfully against the wall.

 

"You fucker."

"Oh c'mon Birdy, I saw you making "I want Wade's cock" faces earlier."

"Please explain to me what that face looks like, because I highly doubt that's what you saw."

 

Clint didn't resist when Wade spun him around, enough light coming from under the door that he could make out Wade's features, eyes narrowed and smirk growing.

 

"These handcuffs are SHIELD property, Wilson- if we damage them in any wa-ah..."

The archer trailed off breathily, caught by the surprise of Wade's fingers slipping beneath his suit pants. Wade didn't let him finish, pressing their lips together in a passionate kiss, and it was all Clint could do to remember any technique at all as the merc stroked his arousal lazily, a noise of muffled approval as Clint continued to grow in his grasp.

"It's official." Clint told him as Wade began unzipping the archer, peeling back the material so he could taunt him above his boxers. "I get to kill you after this. Our first mission and you've already breached every piece of protocol I had."

Wade wasn't listening though, sinking to his knees as Clint raised eyes to the ceiling, swallowing thickly as his heart quickened.

"Okay babe, jokes up, we can go now."

Clint closed his eyes as he felt fabric ghosting over his hips, falling to his thighs, cool air brushing over him.

"Wade, stop it."

Clint pushed off from the wall- but Wade pushed him right back, holding him still with a hand grasped at the tie around his neck. He slid his gaze up to Clint, the archer feeling that desperate need spreading throughout his veins as his breath came faster, watching as Wade's hand curled around his cock, teasing it with agonizingly slow movements, letting go only so he could ghost his tongue from base to tip, making Clint part his lips and let out a soft groan before clenching his teeth again-

 

"Which coat did you say? 34 K?"

 

Clint's head snapped up at the voice outside the door, trying to keep his breathing silent despite it coming in small gasps.

 

"34 J, gotcha, give me a second now-"

The doorknob jiggled. Clint felt his adrenaline kicking in, senses soaring as he fought to find a way out. They were trapped, they were about to be found- and there was Wade, smiling up at him smugly, holding his archer's gaze as he stroked a hand up Clint's thigh, slipping the agent's head into his hot, wet mouth-

 

"Seems to be locked, I need the key. Give me a minute or two-"

 

"Wade-" Clint whispered, but the words were stolen from him as he sucked in a breath, lips wrapped around his cock, feeling the way Wade's tongue dragged a strip of pleasure along the sensitive underside. He shuddered, leaning his head back against the wall because Wade had him right where he wanted him, and Clint couldn't do anything to tell him otherwise.

 

"Right, 34 J-"

 

_"Fuck."_

This time it was Wade who swore, and Clint didn't know whether to laugh or yell when the server barged in on them, flipping the light switch, only to find a merc on his knees and an archer with a throbbing hard on. The look of surprise on his face was enough to appease Clint, especially when Wade reached behind him and pulled out one of the archer's arrows, clicking the button to activate it before he stuck it to the server's knee. Disregarding the fact that Wade had just paralyzed the poor man, Clint shook his head, feeling a slight panic from being caught off guard.

 

"Undo me."

"No time, Birdy."

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Wilson's got a plan."

"Great."

 

Turned out, the merc's plan was to close up the briefcase and sling Clint over his shoulder, still half-pantsed and handcuffed.

 

"You've got to be fucking kidding me Wilson!"

"Does it look like I'm kidding you? Shut your pie hole before you wake up the _entire_ village."

 

Wade dropped Clint to his feet in the nearby staff bathroom, closing the door behind them before he pulled out a key and undid Clint's wrists, watching the archer fix his suit and cover himself back up.

 

"Well that was fun."

"Fun?"

Clint thought about that for a second, dropping to one knee so he could pull out his bow and retract it.

"Yeah, okay that was fun."

 

There was something about Wade Wilson, that Clint just couldn't get enough of.

 

"I think my body's going through shock at the moment, and you're a douche."

"Thought you said it was fun?"

"You're still a douche."

 

Clint was glad to see Wade was grinning back, breaking eye contact as he retrieved his quiver and slung it over his shoulder, stocking it with 34 arrows, arranging them by fletching style. Once he'd finished that he stood again, kicking the empty briefcase behind the toilet.

 

"Okay, so first left, room 112, distraction- security breach."

"No, it's a first right now."

"Right."

"Yes, right."

 

Clint opened the door slowly, feeling Wade leaning against him, both hands cupping his ass cheeks in one last non chalant gesture as he peered over Clint's shoulder. Good to go, for now. Wade stopped at the coat rack to slip the unconscious server boy inside, closing him in as he handed Clint back his arrow. They snuck down the hallway, Clint watching for security cameras as Wade watched for guards- and finding none, continued on, stopping outside room 112.

"What now?" Wade asked, and Clint reached behind him, fingertips finding four identical arrows.

"This is gonna require a bit of strength."

"Well then we're golden-"

"I mean a lot of strength. You ever wanted to play Peter Parker?"

Wade scoffed as Clint handed him a trickshot in each hand.

"You think I haven't already?"

"This ceiling is approximately seven and a half feet tall, we're going to need to jump for it."

 

Wade stared at him.

 

"You do realize we could just, walk in and put the guards to sleep, right?"

"Yeah, but I just thought we could climb the vents, surprise attack them, and..."

 

Wade was humoring him, Clint could tell by the way he was surpressing a grin.

 

"Fine." 

Clint took the arrows back and reordered them in his quiver, pulling out a specific one with a pink band around the barrel at the tip.

"What's that?"

"Sleeping gas."

"We going to be in range?"

"It'll hit them like a ton of bricks and dissipate within fifteen seconds, we should be good."

 

Wade nodded at that, bracing himself sideways as he prepared to slam the door open. Clint gave him the go ahead, nocking his arrow against the bow string, pulling his arm back as he aimed through the bow window. Wade winked, for a split second Clint smiled back- and then it was organized chaos, metal frame wrenching apart as the merc threw all of his weight at it, Clint's arrow nearly missing the head of his partner before it stuck to the floor and exploded, startled shouts reaching his ears as they counted to fifteen. By the time their countdown was finished it was silent, and the two assassins crept into the room unnoticed by anyone else.

 

"Security footage, sector... Sector 4, near the janitor hallway. Rewind about an hour and a half, zoom in-"

"You got it handled Birdy?"

"Yeah babe, give me a second here- is that...?"

Clint scrutinized the insignia on the two men's costumes, the cobra on their sleeves and the brass knuckles shaped like snake fangs.

 

"Serpent society?"

"Wait, what?"

 

Wade joined him, staring a the screen with wide eyes.

"The hell are they all doing here? Tanya, now Klaus' slimy minions?"

 

Clint's eyebrows furrowed.

 

"Tanya? Klaus?"

"C'mon Clint, you can't tell me you've never tousled with the Society before...?"

"Of course I have, I just didn't know their names."

"King Cobra? That's Klaus. Tanya's pretty little Mamba, we had Cottonmouth Burchell on the right, and Puff Daddy Gordon on the left."

"Puff _Adder_ , Wilson?"

"You got it. Thing is, those three aren't Cobra's regular team up, I'm getting suspicious."

 

Clint turned the camera back to real time, both him and Wade scouring the screens for details.

"See anybody else of interest around?"

 

Wade shook his head, standing up straight again.

"Y'know, if Castle screwed up Cobra's plans, there's a good chance the Society would take revenge on his closest homeboy. You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Milla."

"What a smart Birdy- lets get back down to that table and keep an eye on her, dunno how Matt'd take it if he knew I had a chance to save his lady from kidnapping with intent."


	2. Kidnapping with Intent

Returning to the front hallway without being seen had proven to be more difficult than originally thought- Clint had put two more guards and a server to sleep before they could get out, at which point Wade had grabbed the suitcase from behind the toilet again so Clint could fold up his equipment and put it away. They walked back to their spots and settled in, happy to see Milla safe and sound eating a plate of turkey and potatoes.

 

"I was just informing Diana here the benefits of healthy eating."

"Oh?" Wade inquired politely, tilting his head at the superhero's wife.

"She obviously has no need to watch her figure, you're beautiful, darling- but it's not just about form flattery anymore, it's about longevity."

"Do go on." Clint added in, raising his eyebrows in mock curiousity.

 

They spent the better part of twenty minutes in a lengthy conversation about weight, endurance, and peak performance. Clint was almost convinced he needed to stop smoking by the end of it, even though in truth he'd never lifted a cigarette to his mouth in his life. She seemed to know a lot about the subject, unnaturally so, and the archer wondered if Matt's diet was what had started her on it.

 

"Well that's all very interesting, but we've heard wind of something taking place right here, right now."

Clint leaned into the table, keeping his voice hushed, motioning for the other three to join him. He waited until Wade and Milla were closer, eyes shifting around the room once before he cleared his throat.

"Serpent Society."

 

If he'd been expecting that name to ring a bell, it was obvious it had. Milla's jaw set and her eyes took on a guarded light, staring at Clint as though she was a soldier awaiting orders. The agent stole a glance at Wade who was reaching across the table, stealing turkey from her plate while she was distracted.

 

"What about them?"

"Well, turns out they showed up for the party."

"Uninvited, of course?"

Clint shook his head. "Undercover, it would seem."

 

Milla nodded at that, turning to Diana- but something was off about the blonde, as though she was terrified at the very mention of the team.

"Why would you suspect the society?"

"Would you believe us if we told you we were undercover, too?"

 

Milla gave Clint a look of surprise; Wade kicked him below the table.

 

"How long have you two known eachother?" Wade suddenly chimed, and in the same instant Diana stood, wrapping an arm around the brunette woman's neck before the word "Racer" rang from her lips. She pulled her up and out of her chair before Clint could get to his feet, Wade practically across the table by the time the blonde's arms began taking on a green quality, growing in size and length until she had nearly entombed the other woman, cackling.

"I knew it- Anacond-" but Wade's desperate attempt at throwing himself over the table was stopped by a sudden blur of movement and a fist to the side of his jaw that sent him sprawling onto the floor, green hair and a black and blue spandex suit stopping with both fists raised by his body. Clint was already grabbing the case, flipping his quiver over his shoulder as he opened his bow and reached behind him for an arrow.

 

"Anaconda, drop the hostage!"

Clint's cry was unheeded though, she was slinking backwards- and it was only then the archer noticed that the building was in a panic, people in dresses running past, suits a blur of black, white and red as they steered their comrades to the front doors. Suddenly the lights around the place flickered, gun shots ringing out as glass fell from the ceiling, crashing in differents ends of the room. By the time he was done flinching the woman with snake arms was gone, and Clint could hear Wade struggling.

 

"You psycho bitch!"

"Did you just bite me?"

 

Clint could see Wade's hand around her ankle, but before he could take a closer look he was shooting an arrow in her direction, startled when suddenly she was gone, wrenching herself out of the merc's grasp so she could zip away without a trace. Clint watched her with narrowed eyes, barely able to keep with her superhuman speed.

 

"Vesper darling, Bond needs his babies."

"I'm not going to lie, I have no idea what that means."

"My katanas. I left them in the fucking car."

 

Clint sunk back down to the briefcase, lifting a panel so he could pull out two similar hand guns and throw them in Wade's direction.

 

"Aww, Birdy, always thinking of me."

"I always carry a few of your spares- now what the hell is going on?"

 

They were shouting over the noise of pounding feet, the Hall half empty as the Serpent Society made their debut on the far end. Clint could see them all gathered, although Anaconda was not in their ranks.

 

"Anaconda, Black Racer- Serpent Society, didn't you do your homework, Barton?"

"I know who they are- I didn't ask you about their cup size and their grade twelve exam marks, Wilson: how do you want to handle this?"

Wade was shrugging, twirling the weapons around his fingers before he pointed them at the Serpents.

"Same way I always do- awesomely."

 

Clint didn't even have time to ask what that meant before Wade was sailing across the room, shouting "Hey Puff Daddy!" at the top of his lungs.

 

_Black Racer, super speed. Bushmaster, surgically implanted snake tail and arms._

He was following after Wade, calculating their speed and distance, determining how long before impact would be eminent.

_Cottonmouth, bionic jaws, steel teeth. Puff Adder, debilitative gases._

Everything was different when people were depending on you. He never really worried for Wade, only because the guy couldn't die.

_Rock Python, density of rock, prefers long range combat. Asp, venemous skin._

Thing was, he liked the man to be in peak mental and emotional condition at all times. Usually it helped when he was conscious and enjoying himself.

_Black Mamba, dark force. I'll leave her to Wade._

Wade didn't usually kill unless he had a good reason. Clint hoped, for Mamba's sake, the merc didn't find one.

 

Cottonmouth came out to meet them first, flanked by Bushmaster and Rock Python. Clint found himself prompting for weaknesses, watching as Wade leapt at the oncomers with a war cry and a series of "bang bang, bang, bang's." The bullets bounced off Python's skin, and as Clint saw the man reaching for his personal grenades, he nocked a trickshot and let it fly, watching as it exploded on the ground in a cloud of smoke, leaving only Wade and a mangled Cottonmouth in view. The merc threw the unconscious villain to the ground before he was running in Python's direction, leaving Clint to take on Bushmaster.

The snake hissed as they collided in the mist, Clint's hand reaching backwards as he felt for a specific fletching. The man towered over him with his technologically advanced body, the archer ducking and rolling out of the way, leaping over a flailing tail before he aimed an arrow for the spot between his shoulder blades, listening to the pained cry as the snake's body quivered with an electrical surge-

"Aw what is this, a tag team?" came Wade's voice, more gunshots and the sounds of epic battle ensued as Clint found himself face to face with the green haired superhuman from before, a sly smile on her perfect lips before she was suddenly gone- a whisper at his ear before he felt hands around the back fo his neck. It was all he could do to swing his bow back, catching her somewhere in the side before she raced off again, taunting him as she came in and out of range, staying just long enough her saw her, but not giving him another chance to attack.

"Come on, baby, I got all night," he called, watching a black haired woman in a white suit enter the veil of fog, green snakes winding up her bodice as if they were real, moving with her curves as she walked in his direction, daunting and yet so, so beautiful. He couldn't look away, entranced by the way they slid up her chest, curving around her breasts, lifting their heads from the fabric as if they were-

 

"Men. Pathetic."

_Shit._

 

Clint felt the sting against his face, arm reaching up to wipe off the excess fluid on his sleeve, clenching his eyes shut against the toxin he knew would cause paralysis. He was amazed she hadn't amped it up and killed him, not hesitating as he retalitated by closing the distance between them. He was swinging his bow in the same moment he saw Racer coming up on his side, and dropping to a knee he changed it's direction, feeling the impact as she crashed into it, letting out a strangled gasp as the alloy dug deep into her ribcage and brought forth a small "crack," continuing the motion as he stood and took on the white suited beauty with smooth grace. Melee combat with her was like dancing he found, his eyes straying far too much for his liking, feeling only slightly better when Racer got back up and joined in, giving him two opponents to think about.

He was sweating, counting his paces as he searched for an opening- finding one only when he got his string around Asp's neck and pulled her close, keeping the green haired runner at bay.

 

"What's the catch, Racer? Why Milla?"

"Boss' orders, sweetheart."

 

She was dripping with sarcasm; Clint could feel Asp worming under his grip. He pulled the string tighter, making sure to cut off her airway.

 

"You want me to let your friend here go, bring back mine."

Asp's hands were gripping his arms, pulling at the string as he lifted her slightly higher, knowing he only had a few more seconds of bargaining time before she blacked out. Whether or not Black Racer just wasn't the talkative type or really didn't care that her teammate was out for the count, Clint let go of the woman in his arms and stepped over her body, not failing to notice the supposed leader of the group still standing in the back, hands on her hips as she watched the scene unfold.

"Show me what you got," he tempted, quickly nocking another arrow before pointing it at the supervillain. Green hair was a blur again, leading him in another session of guessing games, the point of his weapon not moving until he was certain he'd timed that right-

The tip dug deep into her shoulder and she came to a halt, but before she could even register the pain Clint had another arrow headed her way. He almost laughed when the net encompassed her, sending shocks throughout her nervous system as it barricaded her against the floor.

_Three down, four to go._

 

"You all right?"

 

It was Wade's voice, and Clint felt his arms tremble against his will. In fact, his legs were trembling too, and he swallowed thickly.

"I'm fine, where's Anaconda?"

"Nothing we can do further, I'm afraid: Milla's on her own."

The archer furrowed his brows, taking a shaky step towards the merc as he examined the barrels of his guns a few feet ahead.

"You kidding? What's wrong with you, five minutes ago you would've done anything to-"

"She's fine, okay? You're my boyfriend, just trust me."

 

Clint stopped what he was doing, aware that the index finger on his right hand was going numb.

"We're boyfriend's now? What're you playing at babe, you okay?"

"So what, this was all just a game for the night then?"

 

Wade looked, angry? Clint took another step forward, parting his lips to reply, but the merc turned away, shoving both guns into the waistband of his pants.

"I dealt with them while you were busy endowing those two harpies."

"Are you kidding me right now? You're going to give up because you're- what is this, Wilson, jealousy?"

The merc paused, looking over his shoulder. "So what if it is?"

"I hope you're fucking kidding me- this is a mission, we don't just stop because you're- what about Castle, huh? You're going to let this go to shit so you can prove something to me?"

"What _about_ Castle? We don't know where he is, we don't know what he's doing."

 

Whether it was the way Wade was mocking him or pushing him away, Clint felt his chest tightening. Wade rarely talked to him like that unless they were playing around- and the archer was pretty sure there was nothing playful about this. He sounded like a completely different person, and Clint suddenly feared something was wrong. 

 

"Yes we do- do you _ever_ listen to me? Brooklyn, tomorrow? Logan, team-up, did you get hit in the head a little too hard over there?"

"Maybe, but it doesn't matter anymore. I'm not jealous all right, I love you, I just want this mission to be over."

Clint furrowed his brows at the man, feeling his finger twitch uncomfortably.

"Kiss me, Clint."

 

_"Birdy!"_

 

That voice- unmistakeably Wade's, constricted and from behind him. Clint whirled around- and it was like he broke free of some sort of psychic block: sound rushed back in, the black around the edges of his vision faded. There was Wade, still in the midst of a vicious fight between the two other villains, spitting up blood, struggling up to his feet as he uttered a "c'mon, I'm not done yet" to his combatants. Clint pulled back his arm in reflex, aimed over his hand-

but before he could help him, there were fingers in the crook of his elbow that wrenched him backwards, a body smothering him, wrapping him in its embrace more and more until Clint realized it wasn't a person at all. He couldn't believe he hadn't seen through that; Mamba's dark force was slowly taking over his senses, encasing him in its steel like substance. He growled as he twisted out of the magic's grip, breaking the still forming matter before he fell to the floor, looking back up at the smudged image of Wade's illusion. She'd used her telepathy to play tricks on him, and he suddenly realized Asp's earlier goal. She'd poisoned him with her venom, tried to get it in his mouth and eyes, the quickest way to his bloodstream. Not only was his finger numb now but he had a headache, a dull throb at the base of his skull as his being continued to shudder every now and then. It was slow working, she probably expected not to get away, and it dawned on him that he'd made a big mistake.

 

"V, I could use a little help over here!"

Clint brought his bow up and struck through the dark illusion, shattering it before turning on his heel, not daring to approach Black Mamba without a partner's help. She was there in place of Cobra it would seem, a temporary Captain of the team which made her all the more dangerous. Temporary leaders always had a lot to prove; Clint drew back his bowstring again, powering up a new trickshot before he sent it flying, watching as it hit the neck of Adder's costume perfectly. Hidden in the folds of his collar was a mechanism that allowed him to carry noxious gas- and it suddenly went up in flames, leaving the man to run in the opposite direction as he tried to dislodge it before it exploded.

Python was all that was left, holding Wade by the throat as he held him suspended off the floor. The merc was exerting himself trying to escape, kicking and grasping at the thick hand around his neck. Python was too strong for either of them, but his rock-like skin gave Clint an idea.

 

"This might hurt a bit babe."

 

He reached behind him, nocking a new arrow.

"Gak- wha-" came the strangled response, but Clint had already let it fly, watching as contact was made with Python's arm, a fast creeping layer of ice working it's way up his body. Only problem was, as he'd suspected, it covered Wade too, leaving them shining beneath the flickering ceiling lights. He pulled out a vibranium arrow, the only one he had left since T'Challa's last visit to Wakanda- thankfully his ploy worked and suddenly the frozen substance shattered, leaving both the merc and the snake on the ground as the energy reverberated through their bodies, their skin rolling in waves that made the archer's stomach hurt to watch. They both lay still afterwards, and despite the growing awareness that he'd most likely be facing Mamba alone he waited for Wade to get back up.

He wasn't moving.

 

_Damnit._

"Looks like it's just you and me."

He swiveled around, bow at the ready- Mamba was already holding out two guns of her own, trained right back at the SHIELD agent.

 

"Unfortunately for you, I've already seen inside your mind."

 

Clint shrugged. Three of the fingers on his right hand were numb now.

 

"You and the merc, _partners_?" She hissed.

"You could say that."

"You are a fool then. You know nothing of Wade Wilson, he is a liar, a backstabber, a turncoat."

She made a noise of disapproval, cocking a gun at the listless merc.

"You've got talent, Agent Barton. Do not waste it on him, he is not worth your time- he will leave you in the end, slice your throat like the traitor he is."

 

_Agent Barton? Not Hawkeye? Her psychic abilities are limited._

 

"He will pretend, oh he is so _good_ at pretending." She drawled, clicking the safetys off both of her guns.

"He will tell you he needs you, fight for you, fight with you- sweep you away with his passion until he has what he wants most: your heart."

 

Clint kept his jaw clenched, didn't retaliate, didn't turn to look over his shoulder at the merc on the ground. His legs were tingling again, one side of his mouth twitching.

 

"But in the end he will leave you. He is soulless, emotionless, _cunning_. He knows nothing of love, Agent. Do not be convinced what you have is real. He will never, know love."

 

If the thought of belonging to anything suddenly clicked, the archer reached into his sleeve, holding a card with his two good fingers.

"Pretty speech, coming from a serpent like you."

_All of the things we've done together, all of the words and the nights shared, the promises-_

"Thing is, Wade doesn't have much love in him for villains."

_Don't believe her, she's distracting you._

"And neither does my team."

He activated the card, dropping it to the ground as his thumb ceased movement, stiffening as he tried in horror to use it.

 

"And they're on their way now. You remember the Avengers, right?"

 

He felt his leg giving way and he dropped to a knee, unable to move anything beyond his left calf. His bow dropped out of his hand, jaw clenching as he fought the paralysis making its way through his veins.

 

"No matter: they'll be too late by then: look at you, already falling prey to the venom. Asp has always been such a clever woman, so blessed with her abilities."

Clint fell to the floor, cheek pressing into the polished marble as her shadow cast over him.

 

"What a good boy. Sleep now, the Society finally has the bargaining chip it always wanted."

 

* * *

 

_Whoa._

**What?**

_You feel that?_

**I love the sensation of new growing organs in the morning.**

_It's definitely still evening._

**Who asked you, smart ass?**

 

There was an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach that suddenly stopped, a lurching that went away as quickly as it came. The merc lifted his head from the ground, looking around.

 

"What happened to the party?"

_We happened to the party._

"Where's Clint?"

**You were supposed to be keeping an eye on him.**

_Pretty sure he just imploded us with a vibranium arrow._

"Damn."

 

Wade shook his head once, glancing over at the man sprawled on the floor next to him. Blood seeped out of his face, running from his nose, eyes, ears, and mouth. Wade grimaced in his direction before he stood slowly, patting off the arms of his suit. The lights were flickering again, sparking somewhere as Wade peered around at the mess. They'd managed to smash a bunch of the tables and pillars around them, and Cottonmouth was still laying on the ground a ways away, his neck tilted up at an odd angle.

 

_Ew._

"I feel worse for M'Gula down here. A broken jaw'll heal quicker than a broken spleen."

**We had a broken spleen. Now we have a nice, shiny new one.**

_Pretty sure we had a broken everything._

"You gotta give it to him: vibranium and ice, whatta combination. I would've thought of that on my own, but I was too busy being strangled by Ben Grimm over here."

**Grimm? Naw, Ben's way prettier- M'gula looks like he took fashion advice from Zemo.**

_M'gula sounds like something you'd say during a blowjob._

**Ew.**

"Yeah, ew."

 

There was the sudden exclamation of phasers charging in the distance before Wade watched debris flying in his direction from the front entrance. He ducked, whipping out his guns before in came the flying red and gold suit, hands burning white hot as the superhero landed. Next came Thor, the bounding black body of Black Panther, two suddenly growing costumed bodies as what Wade knew to be Pym particles took hold on the couple's matter, and of course Hulk, who smashed through the wall instead of using the door.

**I like his style.**

 

"You, tiny man."

Wade pointed at himself at Thor's greeting, walking towards the group with hands raised victoriously.

"'Bout time you guys showed up. I had to handle things myself around here."

 

A ceiling lamp fell, smashing against the ground near Ant Man.

 

"I can see that- Fury's going to have a field day when he gets wind of this. Where's Hawkeye?" Tony asked in his robotic drone, and Wade shrugged.

"No clue. He was here ten minutes ago, but I don't remember anything after I blacked out."

"You blacked o- nevermind, the signal said he was standing right there." Tony pointed to where Clint had been previously, Thor taking the liberty to fly over and grab the Avengers card from the ground.

"Our hawk friend is no doubt in grave danger."

 

"Who did this?" It was Panther's deep voice, and Wade crossed his arms.

 

"Serpent Society. No sign of Klaus' though, not that I expected him to come out of hiding just for me."

"Serpent Society?" Janet groaned, hands on her hips. "Didn't you have a thing with them once?"

"Maybe. Maybe not, it all really depends what you mean by thing. If you mean I played them like a harp and had sex wi-"

" _And_ that's about all the information I need." Tony cut in from behind his mask, turning to look at Hank. "Let's head back to the mansion, figure out what we're up against and track them down."

"What about me?"

 

"Uh-" Tony contemplated the merc, who was giving the superhero his best puppy dog eyes.

 

"You can come along-"

"I call riding Hulk!"

"He's not a play thing, Wilson."

But the merc wasn't listening, running up to the giant green superhuman with a grin and his hands clasped together.

"Oh please? Please?"

Hulk grunted, baring his teeth before he brought up a hand and smashed it down, flattening Wade against the ground.

 

**We just got, Hulk Smashed.**

_I have never felt so complete._

**I don't think we can breathe.**

 

Wade peeled himself off the floor, hugging his bruised ribs before he lifted a shaky thumbs up to the other.

"That, was awesome."

And then Hulk was chuckling, crossing his arms.

"Hulk like puny Hawk love."

"That's, disturbing- rendevous at the mansion in ten, I want to see all your faces in my tech room, suited up."

"Sir, yes sir!" Wade called out, and as Tony tilted his head in response the merc sidled up to Hulk, his grin only faltering when the Avenger sent him flying across the Hall.

 

**That wasn't a Hulk Smash.**

_We're going to the mansion._

"We're going to the mansion!"

 

Wade was cut off as his back slammed into a table and he crumpled to the floor.

 

_Lets just, let that heal._

 

xx.

 

He'd grabbed his katanas from the trunk of the car after that, hopped into his suit in the bushes, making sure to flash the random guy that had been walking by with his iPod headphones in. Once he was strapped down and ready to go he took off after the team, happy that the building had been so close to the mansion- Tony had probably seen the chaos before he'd gotten Clint's call, or whatever that card did. The merc was hopping the fence and sliding through the front door before any of the security measurements could even detect him.

 

**Look at that.**

_No, look that that!_

**Is that real?**

_Where's Clint's room?_

 

"Wilson."

"Cap?"

Wade turned around, holding back his sudden burst of excitement.

"They're waiting for you in the meeting room."

"You're not coming?"

"I trust you to handle this. Go, before you miss out on a proper briefing."

 

Steve watched the soldier nod at him, heading down a hallway that lead who knew where.

 

_Cap said he trusts us. He basically put this mission in our hands._

"I know, I think I just died a little."

**We can't let him down. Let us go and meet our destiny.**

_For Narnia._

 

He entered the meeting room, sniffing once in the millionaire's direction.

"No need to stare guys."

"Do you always wear the mask?" Tony asked; he was donning his blue and black undersuit, standing by the projection of some building plans.

"Do you like it?"

"It does the trick."

 

_Would've sounded better if Cap had said it._

 

"All right, here's the deal- we're tracing them to Brooklyn."

"Brooklyn?"

 

**Brooklyn, like, Castle and Fluffy Brooklyn?**

_How did the snakes figure it out?_

 

"Yes, Brooklyn, are you okay with that, Wilson?"

"Yeah, yeah- keep going."

"Brooklyn, some warehouse we've had tabs on for a few months due to recent disappearances in the area, but never really got around to checking out. Kinda regretting it now, considering I don't know what we're heading into. Could be anything for all we know."

"It's a weapons cache."

Tony cleared his throat at Wade's interruption.

"A weapons cache?"

"Yeah."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Castle."

"Frank Castle?"

"You got it. Me and Barton were doing recon at the party, until Mamba and Cotton-eyed Joe showed up with their toadies. Turns out Mr. Punishment's been busting King Cobra's stashes, and I bet you anything they were planning on taking out the last one in Brooklyn."

 

T'Challa nodded his head. "Sounds like a perfect explanation to me."

"Hold on, who says we trust Wilson? Doesn't exactly hold the best track record with superhero teams, doesn't know how to listen to authority, doesn't know how to follow a plan-"

"Perhaps he can give us a sound reason." Thor offered, to which Tony raised his eyebrows at the merc.

 

"Well, it's simple really." Wade told them before he crossed his arms.

"They got my Birdy."


End file.
